I’m sure the whereabouts of Karl are keeping you awake at night, they certainly are me (it’s not gay).

Well, I have discovered what he’s been up to. You remember his heroin addiction? He managed to overcome it with willpower and being locked in a room. He’d stopped stealing my cds and selling them to prostitutes for drug money. Everything was going great, but now he’s become a vigilante to stop people from becoming heroin addicts like he was. He keeps going about at night wearing a balaclava punching gangsters and all that shit.

Here is a dramatic re-enactment of his struggle:

When he’s done with that he’ll be back posting again, so don’t worry.

 Right, after all that here is your shitty, shitty update:

Look, some screenshots of the new Splatterhouse!

(nabbed from chuffing Eurogamer) 

Yet another game that will promote the idea that gamers are well balanced, decent human beings. I can hardly wait to press buttons that make my character punch people and coat myself in their intestines.

In all fairness, it looks quite nice, Splatterhouse was all about the needless gore and such so I suppose it’s doing the right thing. Also I like the man’s trousers (again, not gay). Still, I’m not very excited, not that they should care.

You make your game, fellas, you have a good time, you get paid, good on you. Who gives a shit what people on the internet say about things anyway? We’re all tossers. I hope your game is fucking amazing, and I hope I buy it and love it. I mean that.

Lots of love,

- Matt