Banana Split is not cheap in a sexual way. It’s not wearing too much make up and a short skirt, and is not willing to touch your special places with its mouth in exchange for a drink and a taxi home.

It is however, 80 MS points on Xbox Live, which is somewhere in the region of the price of a Kit Kat. Banana Split is like a Kit Kat that you can’t eat, which makes it last longer. Another bonus is that it contains none of the calories of a Kit Kat.

So if you want to get a digital Kit Kat with no calories that is in fact a game called Banana Split from Xbox Live Indie Games, you should probably click here.

This came out on WiiWare (remember that?) today:

Looks “well mint”, I’ll probably pick it up whenever I retrieve my Wii from Ant & Dec or someone’s grandma or whoever the fuck has nicked it to pretend to be a tennis player this week.

Check out the genuine Max & the Magic Marker website for more info, and a demo!

I don’t really give a damn about RTS, I’m lazy and stupid. But I gather these are supposed to be good, these Total War games. There’s a new one coming out, but I’m not really here to tell you about that, I’m here to show you a video that came out for it last year which I only saw today, and it looks lovely:

Nothing really funny to say about it, just wanted to share my appreciation.

Can you remember when I wrote a short review for a game called Crayon Physics Deluxe?

I said it carried off a child-like charm unique to itself with heaps of polish? No?

I included the words ‘phallic’ and ‘cock’ in the opening paragraph? Yeah, that’s the one!

Well if my review wasn’t enough to make you go ahead and buy it, then the fact that you can now choose how much to pay for it might be. To celebrate the games first birthday, the developer, Petri Purho, has taken a leaf out of 2D Boy’s book and is letting you pay whatever you want for the PC version of the game until 15th of January.

Whether you pay the original price of $19.95 or just $1, it’s a great game and well worth your money. Even if it is just to see your own cock-contraptions come to life.

I like it when games are referenced in popular culture; it’s my secret fetish. Granted, it’s a pretty niche fetish, but a fetish nonetheless. It also makes being a near-obsessive gamer feel slightly more socially acceptable.

You can only imagine how I felt when I saw this:

It won’t do videogames any favours when it comes to sensationalist claims that they cause violence, but it made me feel better for a short while. I’d even go as far as to say it’s up there with the time Sonic The Hedgehog was mentioned on Coronation Street!

Sometimes when I’m feeling a bit like I want to be cool and not a social disgrace, I visit sites that aren’t about games. If I’m lucky these will give me something to talk about with other (real) people at places such as the water cooler, a bus stop, or a coal mine.

Today I was looking at one of these sites and I found this. It’s not thrilling, but I like Hey Okay and this seemed like a good opportunity to share that with you. I feel like I’ve given you a part of myself.

Since we’re all here and depressed, here are some none game related images that are FUNNY:

Haha.

Hoho.

Getting bored now.

And we are done.

Send these pictures to your work colleagues, post them on Facebook, print them out for Christmas presents.

Crikey, if we keep going on like this we might start going out at night and talking to ladies! I sure do hope so.

It’ll come as little surprise to most that Matt did a post a while back about a game called Muscle March which involved, as his title suggested, men in pants. If you saw the video of muscular gentlemen running through walls and thought ‘I’d very much like a piece of that’ and you live in the USA, then you may well be in luck.

The ESRB (software ratings board for America) have classified the game and given it an Everyone 10+ rating, so go ahead and buy it for your kids. In addition to this, they have gone into great detail to describe just what the game is about. It reads a lot like homo-erotic porn. Enjoy.

Bodybuilders dressed in super-tight Speedos chase down a “protein thief” through cities, villages, and space in this whimsical puzzle-action game. Pedestrians, straphangers, school teachers, farmers, police officers, and librarians are fully clothed as they go about their business; the bodybuilders—not so much. Players must perform correct poses to fit through dozens of holes-in-walls created by the fleeing thief. If players do not pose correctly while running, their muscle men (and one woman) will crash through the walls and lose their stamina. Losing stamina means collapsing to the ground face-first, buttocks-last (flexed gluteus facing the screen). It may also mean that between stages, the happy bodybuilders can dance together in space, throw rocks by the riverside, or flex their pectorales major on menu screens (the lone female bodybuilder flexes her chest muscles, too). But the running gag in the game is the odd juxtaposition of traipsing bodybuilders, scantily clad, with the fully clothed working city dwellers—librarians’ eyes agape at seeing their reference sections destroyed by the Posing Ones.

I’m not entirely sure what a ‘protein thief’ is, but I’m pretty certain I wouldn’t go chasing one. By the way, it also mentions a female bodybuilder in there, so it’s probably okay if you felt aroused whilst reading that.

I like cartoons, me. Not shit cartoons. Not cartoons made in Japan for 50 pence. Good cartoons, made by Americans, for billions of pence.

You may have also noticed that I like videogames (though with every passing moment my passion for our mutual hobby wanes slightly more).

Why should you care? You shouldn’t. I don’t care if you care. Stop looking at me, stop touching me, stop kissing my ear.

What was I on about? Oh, this:

I like this.

It’s Mario, but a bit like old Mickey Mouse. The “man what made it”, Dan Helle, noticed this, and called it “Steamboat Mario”. He even made it look a bit like an animation cel by giving Bowser some shadow under him, like he’s on a seperate sheet, even though this is all digital so he’s secretly not.

Dan Helle is a witch, clearly.

Thanks Tiny Cartridge, your name is better than ours.

Craig “I’m sorry but we’ve run out of women for you” Forrester has a new site.

It’s like the old one, except it links to us a lot more, and looks a bit nicer, and we love it at least TEN TIMES as much.

Here is a screencap of it:

And here’s a close up of His name:

He does artwork and puts it up there, like 3D models of Treasure Treasure characters:

We have a link to it up there in the top right, or you can click here.

As you can see we are attempting to set a high standard for posting in the new year with this entry, I can’t see us surpassing this one, but we may as well start out strong at least.

Pretty much blows all of last year’s stuff out of the water.